Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
