at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize