Best friends brother. Beat that.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
