ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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