awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
