it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
