i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
