know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
