I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
