I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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