drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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