So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
