im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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