well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
This house was built for laser tag.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
