he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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