Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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