new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
accomplished twins. life is a go
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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