she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
