if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
