my mouth tastes like poor choices
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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