whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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