You can't special order awesome
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
