I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I think my moral compass just broke
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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