im about as happy as oj after his trial
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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