Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
