Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
