I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He felt like a one man threesome
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
