just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
whose ass print is on the piano?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
YAS. BRING CRAB.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
