Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
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