In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I think i got beer on your cat.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
