the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
