Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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