i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
