theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
