Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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