I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm sobbing to NWA
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
