he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
