I think my fart just growled at me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
