Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
