WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Even my vagina gasped.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
