I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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