I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
