Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
