how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
His hands were made for my vagina.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
