Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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