and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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