i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
