So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
