i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
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