Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize