Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
