what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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