i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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