she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
