Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
