so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
