I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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