I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
