In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Congratulations! We have a period
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
