dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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