Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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