Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm going to jail i love you
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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