It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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