btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
